“Love is not loving someone for his or her perfections, it’s accepting the imperfect person perfectly”
During my interventions with participants I come across my breakups & divorce… The major reason behind that, is nothing but expecting a perfect partner. Some people think that relationships are like a romantic movie, where everything is perfect and falls in the place.
But the truth is that relationship is a reality and not a film. It is not scripted and has its own set of ups and downs. We of course dream and even believe that our relationship should be a picture perfect romance. Because that is what we see on TV and movies. There are always happy endings in them. Because it is not written by destiny but by a person who himself is also imagining such relationship.
Initial stage of relationship you might feel you got the perfect lady or men. But as time will pass, you might disappoint yourself. You have to realize that no one is perfect. Perfection is in the eyes of beholder.
Let’s just take another look onto things. We know so many famous stories about Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu, Romeo-Juliet or the recent film Ram-Leela. These stories catch us because they show us a catchy love. They show a romantically fueled up relationship.
These kind of perfect stories can only work when a partner is missing. Most of these stories had one partner dying in them. On the other hand some stories said and “The lived happily ever after”. Did you go and checked whether actually lived happily after? Of course not. Before being lovers they are humans.
So then, how do we make relationships work and stay happy?
Let us first understand what true love is and then redefine it into a healthier type of love.
Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:
1. Relationship should make you feel whole and not distorted.
A perfect relationship doesn’t require another person to complete you. It is about sharing responsibilities and sharing your life knowing the fact that everything in yours and your partner’s life is interconnected. Let go off the bookish and filmy romantic idea that you hold in mind and focus on becoming “one”. Learn to value and respect the distance also in love as much as you value being together.
2. Remove the goggles that you are wearing. See the originality.
See the person as he is and not how you want him to be. Issues start the minute you see the person to be different from what you have thought about him. Accept the fact and respect his individuality. Do not lessen your love once you start discovering who they really are because that happens when you think of perfection. Remember that change is constant.
3. Grow with each other.
See yourself in him and from that learn how to become a better person. Rather than playing blame games, just look into yourself and correct the things that require corrections.
4. Learn to stay alone.
If you cannot stay alone then you cannot love. You must spend quality time with your own self to grow and evolve in every phase of life. If you can stay happy alone then this is a helping hand to your relationship.
5. Inspect the fight initiating points.
Some people create distance by fighting over and over again. They fight and then they are back together. They may have love or maybe feel more love after patching up from a fight. But slowly this may create a major distance. Finding out the topics that raise fights will help you avoid fights all together.
6. Be you.
Usually we want something from our partner, which we do not possess. It’s a human tendency to look for those things in other which they miss in themselves. And slowly we realize that is this not what we were looking for.
Love yourself first, accept yourself. Do not pity. If you cannot love yourself then you cannot love anyone else. Be gentle.
7. Ordinary is beautiful.
All the fairy tales will be over in a few months or years and after that all that remains is the ordinariness. You must make the ordinariness the real pulp of your relationship. Slowly this ordinary will become your extra ordinary.
8. Grow your heart.
We all want to be happy. It usually means being close to someone in a loving way. But to be happy you need to look inside your heart and be aware of the good things you possess. Know the good you have and then you will easily be able to see the good in your partner.
9. Give love.
Real happiness is giving. Giving love to yourself and others will give you happiness. If you receive back the love then it’s more beautiful. The day you start loving others and yourself, you will automatically be loved back.
10. Expectations kill. Let them go.
Root cause to any heartbreak is expectation. Love is not constant togetherness. Do not use it to fill the void in you. Rather than expecting, learn to accept. Be happy with what you receive and work harder to receive more but don’t let the expectations burden your relationship. Sometimes try walking in their shoes.
These are only a few ways to explore real closeness. But in case you have built up some grudges or past bad experiences in a relationship then the root cause has to be worked on. In my Change Your Life – MIND POWER WORKSHOP we teach the whole psychology of human relationships and what your loved one expects from you. These in return helps you give them what’s right & fulfil their needs. Click here for more details of that program: Change Your Life – Mind Power Workshop
Also I recommend you to download my Android FREE App to experience Mental House Cleaning Mediation for FREE so that it would be easy for you to forgive & move on positively.